Love is like nuclear physics where you have fusion and fission.
Fusion is like a powerful hug between atoms that releases a tremendous amount of energy. This represents the start of a relationship. It's a formidable connection, a magnetic force pulling you closer, where every glance, every touch feels like the birth of a new star. You're in love, not just with the person, but with the idea of what you can become together, willing to move mountains and rewrite the constellations for your partner. [1]
Yet, as much as you wish it could last forever, sometimes something changes within one or both of you and that once-mighty force begins to wane and fade away.
Fission is like the shattering of a fragile crystal, where the atom splits, unleashing a flood of energy. This marks the end of a relationship when the ties that once bound two hearts together start to untwist. It's emotionally challenging, like a storm brewing within, and that release of energy, it's not the exhilarating burst of fusion; it's more like a thunderclap that echoes through your soul. It's a different kind of power, one that can leave you feeling both liberated and wounded, like a phoenix emerging from the ashes with a few burned feathers.
The grand idea here is that fusion and fission gift you with energy, and regardless of whether you're going through fusion's passionate embrace or fission's heart-wrenching release, harness that energy.
For fusion, cherish that moment, for when love strikes, it's already a memory in the making. The moment is fleeting, and you're mourning the fact that it will eventually end. This is what makes love special, and yes, sometimes tragic. Yet, I choose to focus on its specialness each time. Fall in love, my friend, or die trying.
And for fission, well, it’s never easy. Breakups are death preparation. But there's also a reason why the energy is so potent. Use it to propel your life forward, whether by starting a new project, undertaking a learning journey, or finally pursuing that long-dreamed endeavor. But, most importantly, feel every emotion deeply. If you need to cry, let it flow like you're watering the world. If sadness envelops you, embrace it like an old friend. [2]
Whether you're in the throes of fusion or navigating the turbulent seas of fission, remember this: millions before you have felt exactly as you do. Seek solace in the experiences of others, and engage in conversations. It could be your parents, friends, or even a cherished book that offers solutions. You're never alone in this journey of love and loss.
Love, like nuclear physics, shows us that even in the fusion and fission of our emotions, a unique kind of energy keeps our hearts forever blazing.
Notes
[1] If you're in the right relationship, the state of fusion can be a lifelong experience! This also addresses the question of whether you're in the right relationship. If the relationship consistently energizes you, then you are indeed in a state of fusion, my friend. Nourish it and let it flourish.
[2] Breakups are often linked to feelings of sadness and a lack of productivity. You might argue, "That's not energy." However, there is undeniably a force at play, either keeping you on your couch or causing you to feel down. You have a choice: either allow that force to dominate your life, or redirect it toward something else. To illustrate, a friend was initially puzzled by this concept. But after I clarified it for him, he recounted a personal experience where he was ghosted by someone, and in response, he channeled his emotions by running 9 miles. That's precisely what I mean.
Thanks to Alex, Chris, Ryan, Jolim, and Jonah for reading drafts of this essay.
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